Cooking is Terrible

Cooking is Terrible cookbook cover

Cooking is Terrible

Sadly, you still have to feed yourself.

Cooking is terrible, and food is often a massive pain in the ass. Eating is sometimes ok, sometimes a giant drag, and somehow still a thing that you have to do multiple times a day, which seems enormously unfair.

This book isn’t going to teach you how to cook, or turn you into the kind of person who hosts effortless dinner parties, or make you more attractive and popular and interesting. At best, it’s going to make it slightly more likely that you manage to eat something in the ten minutes between walking in the door and falling into the sweet embrace of the internet. I’m not joking—a lot of this can be done, start to finish, in ten to fifteen minutes. I resent thirty-minute meals because it feels like about twenty-eight minutes too long to spend on feeding myself.

If you’re excited to get home from work and spend an hour cooking dinner, this isn’t the book for you. If you really value authenticity, this isn’t the book for you. If you literally only eat three foods and you’re happy like that, this isn’t the book for you. If you, like me, are tired and depressed and just need to get some food into your face once in a while, this is definitely the book for you. You should buy it. Maybe it’ll help.

Cooking is Terrible can be purchased through many ebook vendors, including for Kindle from Amazon, for Nook from Barnes & Noble, on iBooks, and in epub and printable PDF from Gumroad.  It can also be requested through your local library, or purchased as a paperback through Amazon.

A selection of recipes from the book can be viewed here.